This is the last installment of a three-part article by Pastor Lynne. Here are links to part 1 and part 2.
4. Put your children in God’s hands.
You are going to have to put your children in God’s hands. Roll the care of them over onto the Lord, and never make decisions for them or about them because of fear.
I’m not saying ignore your child or the situations they face. You still need wisdom and you still need to be led by the Holy Ghost. You need to be aware of situations where a child could be harmed or abused. Don’t throw your child into a situation where you are unsure of what’s going on.
On the other hand, you’re also going to have to learn to trust the Lord. Sometimes that means you let them make a mistake. You can’t fight all their battles for them or smother them to death with fear. If they get in a squabble with somebody at school, don’t immediately jump to fix it as a parent. Sometimes it’s better to say, “You know what? Life isn’t fair. Let’s pray about this and believe God together for this to change.”
If your child comes home and says, “My teacher’s not fair,” don’t respond, “Well, let’s go to school tomorrow and get rid of that teacher.” Sometimes you need to say, “Well, you know what? Life is not fair. Let’s pray about this. Let’s see what is right for you in this situation.”
Don’t make decisions for your child based on fear. I’ve seen parents who decide out of fear to not let their child go anywhere. The problem is that when a parent doesn’t let a child do anything, they will grow up, leave the house, and just go wild.
I love what the Bible says in Hebrews 11:23 about Moses’ parents.
By faith Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his parents, because they saw he was a proper child; and they were not afraid of the king’s commandment.
Moses’ parents weren’t terrified of Pharoah. His command didn’t stop them from having baby Moses. In the next few verses, we read about Moses’ faith when he grew up. What stands out to me is that Moses didn’t fear either. Moses’ call was to stand up against the strongest evil power in the world. I believe the spirit of faith was imparted to Moses by his parents. They refused to fear, which enabled him to refuse to fear.
5. Discipline your children.
The next thing you should do for your children is discipline them. Set standards, but don’t be overbearing.
I believe that children should be lovingly disciplined. The Bible says if you don’t use the rod, you spoil the child; never spank your child, though, when you’re out of control and angry. Also, your child should know why they are being disciplined. They should know what they did and that it was wrong and the right way to do it. If your daughter has had a spat with her brother or sister, sit her down and say, “We will not have this behavior at our house and this is the way you treat your sibling.” Get your Bible and spell it out in the Word.
I’ve learned through the years of being a grandma, that sometimes there are better punishments than spanking. I can think of someone very close to me who would much prefer a spanking than to take her phone away. For her, that would be the worst punishment of all.
As I said, discipline should always be done lovingly and patiently. Your child will learn wisdom with discipline; they will also learn what is right and what is wrong. Never leave children to figure it out by themselves.
Make a distinction between immaturity and rebellion. You cannot put a 30-year-old head on a 10-year-old child. Children are going to do some things just because they’re kids.
Remember this: Spend lots of time with your children. Get to know your children. Build a strong relationship with them. Be involved in the things they love. That is the way your discipline will be effective.
6. Teach your children to respect and to honor authority.
Teach your children submission to authority. Throughout the Bible and history, we see examples of people who got into trouble and brought a lot of heartache to their families, church, or community because of a lack of respect for authority. Why did they do that? Because the parent did not teach them respect for authority.
I’m telling you, when you’re at home and your child starts talking back to momma or mocking your momma or being sarcastic with momma, that needs to be dealt with. Do not let it slide in your home without discipline. Don’t laugh and think it’s funny and say, “Oh, that’s just part of growing up.” No, that’s rebellion, and it must be dealt with right away. If you don’t, later on, you’re going to find that your child will have trouble with authority.
Children need to be taught respect for positions of authority. They need to have demonstrated in front of them your respect for authority. We know from the Bible there is government authority, spiritual authority, and parental authority, which have been set up by God. When you teach your child respect for the president of the United States, you are teaching them respect for God. Teach them even if you don’t like the president. Teach them respect for that office. When you teach them to honor and respect authority, you pave the way for them to walk in success.
So these are the six things we must do to ensure our children’s success:
- Lead them to put God first.
- Train them as you live God before them.
- Speak words of faith and love.
- Put them in God’s hands.
- Discipline them.
- Teach them to respect and to honor authority.
It always blesses me when I think about the next generation. Just think of the impact they can make when we instill these values and train our children to live life God’s way. They will become successful in reaching this world for the kingdom God.
Excellent article – thank you Lynn for sharing.